YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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