K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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