my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
