Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
