i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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