So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize