A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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