she woke up with a sticky ear
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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