dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
