I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize