I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
