It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
