My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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