I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
