Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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