I cockslap morals
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
