So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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