Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
