Kiss
Puke
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
