one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
