you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
