I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
