i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
