Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize