He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
