Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
