I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Welp...herpes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
