So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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