I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
