Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
