I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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