Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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