like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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