we made out on top of his cat.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
