were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
