I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
