Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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