If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize