Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
