Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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