woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
