So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I see more hoeing in ur future
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
