i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
