I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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