C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize