Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
