and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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