We're facebook friends in real life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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