Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
