look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
