I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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