you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
