is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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