..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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