You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
