i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
