Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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