tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
