Tell her she can't have a vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
