Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
