I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
