Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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